My alarm clock is raising hell. It's gotta be 9AM... Sunshine smears through the blinds, and it's dead obvious that it's another F'in beautiful day out. My overgrown hair feels nasty, but I know it's all going to be ok after I hit the shower. I sit up on my bed, eyes barely open. Before I know it I'm stretching my arms out as far as I can, letting out a barbaric *ROAR*! Then it happens again... My eyes are lowered, and I'm slowly wandering off... The cycle begins...

I don't know exactly when it all began, but I have developed this weird habit of thinking too much. Well, I guess I don't know if it's really "too much" until I get some idea as to what a "normal" amount of thinking really is. But it feels like I think about things unnecessarily. To a certain degree I suppose it can be considered healthy to want to think about various aspect of one's life, but I'm begining to wonder if I'm going too far... What happens when I wander off is actually quite scary. It's almost like an out-of-body experience where there exists two copies of myself; one that wanders off thinking about this and that trying to make sense of it by analyzing it from all possible angles, and the other who stares in utter disgust wondering just what the hell is wrong with the poor fella. At times it's as if I don't even recognize who I am anymore...

This has been going on for some time, and it's a weird blend of being happy but never really reaching satisfaction. There's nothing I can really complain about in my life. As a matter of fact, I'm doing pretty much everything that I want to be doing. The problem is that after a day filled with great things, I go to bed knowing that I'll wake up and instantly become unsatisfied... All because I manage to analyze my life in more ways than I can list and ultimately come to a conclusion that I'm not good enough. WTF??? Am I developing some form of depression???

I dunno... I think I'm just weird. Often times I would start blogging about something that I I thought was important, then half way through I'll realize that I'm full of shit. Those moments are one of the best because I'm basically learning from myself (at least I'd like to believe that I am). Learning how confused I am, how hypocritical I may be, or simply how stupid I am. Very rewarding, I say! ^^; Anyway, I think I should think less and live more.